My parents have always said I wasn’t your ‘typical child’. My emotions were more extreme than others, things were always really amazing or absolutely horrendous. My mum thought it would just ‘blow over’.
Once I reached the age of 12 these emotions still seemed out of the ordinary, my friends noticed it and it became so much harder to maintain friendships and relationships which as a teenager is a recipe for bullying.
After several traumatic events in my life, I felt different. I always thought “nobody else has ever told me they’ve experienced this stuff, is it me?”. Once I reached 15 my difficulties hit full on, sectioned under 2, then 3, then found myself in and out of hospital.
Stigma. I hate the word! Even some staff of mental health units don’t really know what to say, apart from “surely you are just attention seeking?” and “this behaviour is ridiculous, you haven’t got a diagnosis at all, you’ve just got severe behaviour problems”. Yet the reason I would have such hysterical moments is because I couldn’t cope with hearing things, the urges and insane bursts or adrenaline.
If you are struggling right now, don’t wait until services reach to you, don’t wait until someone notices. That’s what I thought would be ok, but it only made me worse. If it means raising money for charity to fill your time, do it for a charity that has a close correspondence with yourself. It sounds silly, but make your bed every day, you will feel accomplished by such a small task that it may just set your mood up for the day ahead!
Don’t make yourself a statistic, make yourself a survivor.